HOW NOT TO HANDLE INDIVIDUAL GROWTH IN RELATIONSHIPS In this episode, SB Crux examines one of the most common and least talked-about tensions in relationships — what happens when one person grows and the other one doesn't. Using the concept of homeostasis from family systems theory, SB explains how every relationship settles into an unspoken equilibrium — and why that equilibrium breaking down, even for healthy reasons, can feel like a loss to the partner who benefited from the old version of you. The episode covers: 1. Why positive personal growth can trigger anxiety, guilt-tripping, and sabotage in a partner with an anxious attachment style 2. How identity threats work — and why a man who built his sense of value around being a provider can feel destabilised when his partner becomes financially independent 3. The Nigerian cultural double standard around growth: why a man's financial rise is celebrated while a woman's independence is treated as a threat — and why emotional growth in men is met with disgust rather than support 4. The critical difference between discomfort and incompatibility — and the one question that tells you which one you're dealing with 5. What to do if you are the one growing, and what to do if you are the one being left behind